and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
