I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
