I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
