haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Acid is not a monday night drug
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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