I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
