i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
