The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
