Cold hands, warm shart.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
