There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We had to coat check the pizza.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
