All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
