hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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