I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
we made out on top of his cat.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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