I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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