we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
