Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
