I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
