I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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