Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
