So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
