This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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