Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
