haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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