You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
