Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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