I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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