Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
