Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
