I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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