I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
