just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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