So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
