Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
