I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
