the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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