You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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