We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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