yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
