Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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