I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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