The maid of honor just puked.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize