I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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