So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
