I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
