I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
