Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize