omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
MIDGETS
????
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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