In America we eat man semen.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
