so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
His nipple licking is glorious
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