apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize