you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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