No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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