y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Randomize