bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
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