You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
