i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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