I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
