But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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