her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
