Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
