What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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