i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
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