But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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