four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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